


Cast Away

by FiveEyes



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst and Humor, Anxiety, Depression, Eventual Smut, F/F, Slow Burn, an unnecessary amount of bad puns, cute ocean critters, mental health, yes sometimes i pretend i can do either of those things
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-16 22:13:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14174484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiveEyes/pseuds/FiveEyes
Summary: "It couldn't be. The chances of them meeting again were so small, so abysmally miniscule, so utterly ridiculous, that it simply couldn't be. Peridot turned around slowly, as if under a spell, expecting to wake up from a dream of the deceptively realistic kind any second now...She never did.Her gaze feverishly scanned the woman for a detail that was out of place, for a hint that all of this was a misunderstanding, but they came up with nothing. It was her.The woman in front of Peridot was without a doubt Lapis Lazuli."The most unfortunate of meetings in the most unlikely of places sends Peridot tumbling deep into a rabbit hole of regrets, anxiety and the hope that maybe, after all those years, there is a way to undo all of the damage that has been done between them.





	1. Chapter 1

"Come on, Peri, you sure you don't just wanna get a really big doberman or something? On a scale of coolness, turtles are barely above goldfish as it is, and that's only because as reptiles they're like, half dinosaur!"

Several people on the street turned their head at Amethyst's exclamation.

Peridot pinched the bridge of her nose, were her slightly bent glasses sat. It boggled the mind how her friend managed to attract attention like the inescapable gravitational pull of a neutron star, despite being a few inches shorter than Peridot herself. Everything about her except her height was big, her voice, her personality, even her heart, though Peridot would never, ever admit to that last part because she would either create another awkward situation for herself by not knowing when to keep her mouth shut, or, even worse, supply her friend with some prime blackmail material. Oh, she would never live it down.

"Amethyst, dogs need a strong hand. My hands aren't even capable of opening a jar of jam without help!"

Amethyst had spent the last 30 minutes of both their lives trying to talk Peridot out of buying a turtle, and into buying a pet she considered 'cool', like a talking parrot (she had no answer for where Peridot was going to get the money and the time to care for such a creature, let alone the insane amount of ear plugs she'd need), a scorpion (words could not describe how much she hated every animal with more than four legs) or an ocelot (was that even legal?), and Peridot in turn trying to just get Amethyst to cooperate and help her transport her new pet without getting them thrown out of another pet shop.

"That's true, I guess, you basically consist of skin, bones and brain."

Amethyst gave her a friendly jab in the side with her elbow that made Peridot double over in pain.

"Case in point", Amethyst smirked.

They continued walking along the sidewalk, Peridot occasionally glancing at her phone for directions to _Shell Yeah_ , the marine pet shop of choice. Well, second choice, to be precise, but since Amethyst had taken it upon herself to prove that fish food was an acceptable meal for a human being and had proceeded to throw up into a fishtank, they weren't exactly welcome in that particular establishment anymore, despite Amethyst's arguing that the fish didn't seem to mind in the slightest.

Peridot winced as her back started to hurt. Her spine was usually acting up when walking longer distances, the doctors had told Peridot that the prosthesis that was attached at the left thigh, where her leg so abruptly and brutally ended, as state-of-the-art it might be, would never be a perfect match to her right and created a difference in height that her hip and spine had to balance out. Amethyst had offered to give her a ride in one of her cousin's car, but Peridot had had to reject that offer. They were good friends, but not yet ' _crying-and-stress-vomiting-in-your-cousin's-car-because-I-can't-enter-one-of-these-things-without-going-into-a-panic-attack_ ' close.

Amethyst had been the first friend Peridot had made in Empire City, actually, the first person she had had a conversation with that wasn't some sort of cashier since she moved here a few weeks ago, and even though Amethyst could be quite a handful and her moodswings were more abrupt and deadly than a sudden fall from a window on the tenth floor, Peridot had missed it. She had missed being in the company of somebody who truly cared about her and wasn't legally obligated to give her shelter and food, and if she was entirely truthful, she might have become slightly isolated in the apartment she now called home, taking her online courses for electronic design and whatnot, only ever leaving the house to stock up on the most basic of needs. Amethyst had sure thrown her in the deep end of socializing by just walking up to her out of the blue and handing her a ticket for a concert, since one of her numerous cousins (Peridot wasn't quite sure if by 'cousin' Amethyst meant she was actually related to all these people, or if it was just a euphemism for 'member of my private army of ridiculously beefy women') had contracted a nasty stomach bug and couldn't come to the concert with her, so Amethyst thought to brighten the day of the first stranger that came across her path with an absurdly costly gift. Peridot had even had a good time with Amethyst at the concert, at least until the band started playing and all that incessant noise caused a blood vessel to pop in Peridot's nose and her friend had to carry the panicking girl out of the crowd. She still hadn't found a way to get the blood stains out of her blouse.

When they had finally made it to _Shell Yeah_ , Peridot had to grit her teeth to keep herself from groaning in pain. The tang of seaweed and fish food had already greeted them several feet away, and by the time they passed the colorful doorsign spelling ' _whalecome_ ' ("What were they even thinking?!", Amethyst snorted) it got so intense Peridot had to cover her mouth and nose with her scarf. And still, being surrounded by all the little marine critters. She almost needed to suppress the urge to run around and press her face into the wall of every aquarium like she had done all those years ago when she had been a child, getting food for her pet turtle Grishnákh. Peridot could say a lot of things about her past self, that she was cowardly, meek and a poor judge of character, but at least she was cultured.

Amethyst had no such reservations and looked around to her heart's delight, she stayed suspiciously long around a big indoor pool containing many colorful koifish leisurely floating around. "Hey Peri, bet I can catch one with my bare hands!", she said as Peridot tried to pull her toward the back of the shop where she had caught a glimpse of the turtle tanks. "Just kidding!", her friend reassured her, but Peridot still demanded that she empty her pockets on the spot. Thankfully, no fish were found, just a few coins, some chocolate bar wrappers, and a pocket knife. Thankfully, they made it to the turtle tanks without getting banned, even though Amethyst pretended to throw up again at the punmanship displayed on the warning signs adorned with the words ' _please do not sturtle the animals_ '.

"That's the one", Peridot whispered in front of a tank, whose inhabitant was labeled the African Aquatic Sideneck Turtle. The small animals waddling around inside were still young, and looked just like little Grishnákh. The wave of nostalgia hit Peridot hard. This time, she promised herself, she wouldn't overfeed her charge until its untimely demise.

"That thing, really?", Amethyst asked. "It looks like a senile baby goblin! I didn't know there was a way babies could be senile! Couldn't you at least get a badass snapping turtle?"

"Like I want to lose any more of my limbs", Peridot deadpanned.

"Fine, be a nerd", Amethyst huffed and left Peridot to her own devices while she went to investigate if the betta fighting fish had earned its name.

Peridot was lost in thought. She had planned to call her new companion Grishnákh the Second, to honor the late Grishnákh's sacrifice, but now that she thought about it, maybe it was a bit uninspired. Maybe Uglúk or Lurtz was the way to go...

She somehow felt _her_ standing there before she even heard her voice. Maybe it had something to do with her smell, how she, after all those years, still smelt of salt and cheap hair dye, or maybe a person just develops some sort of sixth sense to detect the prensence of a person they allowed themself to grow so close to as they had been. Either way, Peridot's blood ran ice cold and the hair on her neck stood up even before she could hear her monotone customer service voice asking if she needed any help. It was her.

 _Her_.

 _ **HER**_.

And yet it couldn't be. The chances of them meeting again were so small, so abysmally miniscule, so utterly ridiculous, that it simply couldn't be. Peridot turned around slowly, as if under a spell, expecting to wake up from a dream of the deceptively realistic kind any second now...

She never did. Her gaze feverishly scanned the woman for a detail that was out of place, for a hint that all of this was a misunderstanding, but they came up with nothing. It was her. The woman in front of Peridot was without a doubt Lapis Lazuli, Peridot's former best friend and ex-girlfriend. She had gotten older, the rings under her eyes had gotten yet darker, and she had a few more piercings than Peridot remembered, but she would recognize those eyes, that faraway look and that hair that was clearly dyed in a rush everywhere. Lapis must have realized the same thing, because at that exact moment her jaw went slack. There was a strange silence, as thick as cold porridge and just as unpleasant, before Lapis asked, her voice shrouded in an incredulous daze: "Peridot? Is that you?"

Peridot wanted to run, to pray for a meteor to fall out of the sky and pelt her into the ground, killing her instantly. But of course, there was none, so she had no choice but to solve this situation like an adult. She took a steeling breath, crossed her arms over her chest to seem more intimidating and to stop them from shaking, and said:

"Who, me?"

Nailed it.

Lapis seemed even more confused.

"No, you must be mistaken, I'm not Peridot, I'm-"

"Yo, Peridot, check this out, they've got a freaking axolotl in here!"

Amethyst's smoky voice shattered Peridot's flimsy pretense like glass.

Peridot wondered if it was to late to still pray for a meteor.

Amethyst, who had come sprinting down the aisle to show Peridot her amazing find, stopped in her tracks as if she hit an invisible wall when she saw the expression on both women's faces. Her blue eyes flickered back and forth between them under furrowed brows, making it look like she was watching a very intense tennis match. Absurdly, the situation reminded Peridot of a classic Mexican standoff in some crappy european western, only she had shown up without a gun, ammunition, or even so much as a knife. Faintly, she heard Lapis utter something that sounded vaguely like a human language. Peridot couldn't speak, she couldn't even bring herself to look at Lapis. Her mouth was dry and her hands clammy, and her savagely drumming heart sang panic, panic, _panic_...

So Peridot did the only thing she could think of.

She bolted.


	2. Chapter 2

Peridot didn't know what she was doing, she just needed to get out. She didn't even know where she was going, all she heard was the rapid beating of her heart and the uneven sounds of her feet, both metal and flesh hitting the ground. She finally came to an abrupt halt when the pain in her lower spine got too much and forced to her knees on the wet asphalt. It had started to drizzle, but the raindrops on her face tasted salty. She retched and coughed, filling her lungs with cold october air, trying to ground herself.  
She sobbed.

 

* * *

  
Peridot sobbed, because that was what she always did. It didn't matter how often the teacher told her that the most important thing was that she tried her best and that a C wasn't that bad of a grade anyway, she knew she could do better, had to do better...  
She was aware it was pathetic, but she just couldn't help it, the tears would come anyway. She cried when she was sad, of course, but also when she was angry, frustrated, afraid, and sometimes even when she was happy. Mother had always said that her intellect was far beyond what was expected for a child her age, but apparently she had paid for it by lagging behind in every other aspect. ' _Unfortunate_ ', her mother had said, ' _but you can't have everything_ '. Peridot didn't know why Mother didn't just have another child if she was subpar, but she was glad it hadn't occurred to her, she didn't like the thought of being replaced by a better version of her. Where would she even live? Was she going to be moved to an orphanage? From what she read in her books, orphanages were, without fail, abhorrent places were evil old shrews took it upon themselves to inflict suffering on all children in the immediate radius.

  
She was on her way home from elementary school when she first stumbled upon the girl called Lapis Lazuli, wearing a petite little summer dress and looking absolutely miserable while doing so, and most strangely, tugging a rubber dinghy behind her on a rope. And almost in an instant, Peridot was intrigued. She stopped abruptly on the pavement, craning her neck to watch the stranger pass by. Somebody behind her cursed as they dropped their groceries in an attempt to avoid collision. A single cabbage sadly rolled past her.

  
Peridot had a habit of getting absolutely engrossed in mysteries. If there was something she didn't understand, she would work for hours on end just to get an answer. She and her mother agreed that her smarts were pretty much the only thing she had going for her, she was small, meek, prone to sickness and also immature and childish. Sometimes she liked to play pretend that she was a detective or a scientist, going on adventures and triumphing over her foes with nothing but her wits and the sheer power of determination. Of course, even the great Detective Peridot Korolyova couldn't just think her way out of her room when Mother locked her there for her studies. It was probably for the better anyway, she would just get distracted by trivial things that had nothing to do with her work.

  
But the girl with rubber dinghy had something about her, an aura she just couldn't ignore, beckoning Peridot along to find out what that stranger was trying to do, traipsing in the general direction of the boardwalk with her boat in tow. A voice in her head told her she would regret it later, that Mother hated it when she was late to lunch, but Peridot didn't listen. She wiped her tears away with the back of her hand and picked up her pace, scrambling after the girl.

  
"Hey! Hey you!" she called out after her. The stranger didn't react, if anything, she seemed to walk just a bit faster. Peridot broke into a light jog to keep up with the taller girl's stride. "I'm talking to you!", she said, perhaps a bit too forceful, because the girl shot her a grey-eyed glare and hissed: "But I don't want to talk to you, leave me alone!".  
"You have grey eyes! That's really rare!", Peridot prattled on, pretending not to have heard the stranger's rude comment. The girl quickened her pace once more, and Peridot almost had to run in order to keep up. She almost tripped over a loose plank on the boardwalk, but managed to keep her footing.  
"Where are you going with that boat?", she asked. They had left the boardwalk behind and descended to the soft, white sand of the beach.  
"Why do you care, twerp?"  
"I'm not a twerp, I'm in second grade!", Peridot shouted, trying to discreetly stand on her tiptoes to be slightly less dwarved by the taller girl.  
Seeing as Peridot wouldn't back down, the girl sighed deeply and answered: "I'm running away to Hawaii, where my dad lives!"

  
That threw Peridot for a loop. She had entertained the idea of running away at more than one occasion, too, she had even tried it once a few month ago. It had been an all around disappointing and humiliating ordeal, as she soon realized that she'd need a bit more than the few dollars she'd salvaged from her piggy bank to even get a warm meal. She'd ended spending her time under the boardwalk making hermit crabs race each other and feeling her heart skip a beat whenever she heard the sound of heels on the plank. She eventually returned home after the sun had went down and the shops had long closed up, holding on to the hope that Mother had maybe missed her just a little bit. She had even entertained the phantasy that Mother had been staying up all this time, waiting in the hall for her one and only daughter to come home, maybe next to the phone to wait for the call from the police that her child had been found...  
As it turned out, Mother had indeed been waiting for her, although she hadn't been out of her mind with worry. She also wasn't mad, which was at least something. Instead she had found it very amusing how Peridot had shuffled home, her frog backpack stuffed to the brim with cans of beans and peas she had been unable to open because she forgot to pack a can opener, and a total of 2.64 dollars. Peridot still didn't get the joke.  
But obviously this girl was prepared, she had even brought a means of transportation! Things were actually looking up for her, well, except for one detail.

  
"You're at the wrong coast then."  
The girl stopped in her tracks, which Peridot didn't mind in the slightest, as she had gotten a bit out of breath. The girl furrowed her brows.  
"What did you say?"  
"You're at the east coast, where the Atlantic meets North America. Hawaii however is in the Pacific Ocean at the west coast."  
The girl dropped the rope with which she was dragging her boat and gaped at her silently.  
"The east coast is that way", Peridot pointed out helpfully, gesturing vaguely inland.  
The girl was still gaping at her, silently, biting her lip, suddenly hell bent on avoiding eye contact, and with a start, Peridot realized why. Because this was exactly how she tried to keep herself from crying. She could feel her heart sink in empathy with the stranger as if it was made of heavy, icy cold metal, and she felt the sudden urge to comfort the girl in front of her. Peridot awkwardly extended her hand to pet her arm, and mumbled something along the lines of "don't cry, it's okay".  
The girl half-heartedly swatted away her hand. "I'm not crying!", she interjected, but her irregular breathing and cracking voice made Peridot doubt the validity of her claim.  
"Besides, you can still get to Hawaii from here!"  
Slowly, the girl lowered her hand that had been furiously wiping at her eyes. "How?", she asked, as deliberately and slowly as a Sesame Street character explaining the number three.  
"You can just go south from here, down the east cost of South America, and at the lowest point you can just loop back around, and then you're in the Pacific Ocean!"  
"And you're not lying to me?"  
"Of course not! We can go home and I'll show you on Mother's globe if you don't believe me!", Peridot said and instinctively reached for the girl's hand to lead her back home, but she jerked away.  
"Okay, I believe you! Which way is south?"  
She had started walking towards the shore again, and diligently, Peridot followed.  
"Down there, I think", Peridot said, pointing towards the point where the docks met the ocean. "I'm like, uhm, fifty percent sure that's south."  
"Good enough for me", the girl shrugged.

  
"I'm jealous, I'd do anything to go on an adventure like this", Peridot said excitedly. They had now reached the edge of the water, and Peridot briefly worried about her shoes soaking through and getting into trouble because of that, before she found out that to her surprise, she didn't care at all, and waded into the ocean after the stranger, who crawled into the dinghy once the water reached up to her knees (which was about thigh-high for Peridot). She felt like she was a part of a romantic movie, a really old one, where lovestruck young girls would wave goodbye to their handsome boyfriends on the way to adventure with their handkerchiefs. Peridot did have one in her jacket pocket, but she decided against using it to send the stranger off as she had used it multiple times to blow her nose.  
"So...", Peridot started, slightly awkwardly.  
"So? Are you coming along or not?"  
Peridots jaw dropped. Several sentences tried to force their way out of her mouth at once, resulting in a garbled mess of barely connected words. "I...you would...it's okay...really?"  
"Really", the stranger chuckled, holding out her hand to help Peridot into the dinghy. She took it without a moments hesitation, climbing on board herself.  
She felt the stranger's eyes on her, and with them a strange urge to impress her. _Be cool_ , Peridot told herself, _and don't say anything stupid_.  
"You made a good choice letting me join you on this adventure", Peridot proclaimed proudly, pushing up her glasses in what she hoped the same professional manner her Mother did.  
"I did, twerp?", the stranger asked, voice trembling with mirth, her dark eyebrows raised so high they disappeared under her hairline.  
"I can assure both of our survival on this journey, because I, the great and loveable Peridot Korolyova, can start a fire with my glasses!"  
It wasn't a lie per se, more like an embellishment of the truth. She had read about a boy accomplishing the same feat while stranded on an island, she just had never done it herself, but how hard could it be, really?  
"Whatever you say", the girl chuckled.  
"My name's Lapis, by the way. And because I'm in fourth grade, I'm still allowed to call you a twerp, twerp."  
Peridot huffed incredulously as the pull of the low tide gently guided them towards their epic adventure.

Aforementioned epic adventure was cut short by the coast guard who pulled them out of the water barely ten minutes later.

 

* * *

 

  
"Peridot! Peridot, it's okay, I'm here, I'm here, calm down!"  
A familiar voice faded in and out of Peridot's hearing. Her knees hurt. Her clothes were soaked. Her breath came in short bursts.  
"C'mon, let's get you out of the rain."  
Strong arms looped around her heaving her off the ground. Why had she been kneeling on the ground?  
"Amethyst?"  
Her brain was numb and her senses raw, flaring, screaming. The aftermath of a panic attack was often harsher than the attack itself.  
"Yeah, it's me, the one and only, live and in color."  
Amethyst must have put a great effort into keeping her voice this calm and quiet, she was almost whispering. A rush of thankfulness overcame Peridot like a gentle, warm wave warming up her frozen insides.  
Amethyst gently guided her from the spot of the pavement where she'd been cowering to a bus stop, where she let Peridot take a seat and catch a breath. It astounded Peridot how a woman so brash and loud and forceful could be so gentle.  
"I got you your ugly goblin girl", Amethyst said. And indeed, floating in a translucent plastic bag filled with water was a tiny little baby turtle whose big round eyes stared into nothingness. That managed to coax a smile out of Peridot.  
"So...do you want to tell me what went down in that store?"  
Peridot wasn't sure. On one hand, she didn't feel like reliving this situation, she just felt like curling herself into a blanket burrito at home and staying there until she had completely rusted over to the point that her body would be preserved in pristine condition and used by future generations and eventually aliens stumbling onto the remnants of human society as a relic of a forgone better time. On the other hand, crying into Amethyst's shoulder until she was nothing but a dehydrated husk seemed like a fitting end for her, and could maybe provide some comfort along the way.  
Peridot took a deep breath.  
"So the store clerk and I...we sort of know each other", Peridot started.  
"Biblically?", Amethyst giggled, but stopped as she saw the pained expression on Peridot's face. "Is she like, your ex or something?"  
Peridot made a helpless noise.  
"I guess...I mean, we never broke up, we just...she just..."  
Amethyst offered her a handkerchief, which Peridot politely refused on the basis that it looked very, very used. She sighed.  
"Do relationships have an expiration date?", she asked, and immediately felt colossally stupid.  
"I mean, judging by how sour that confrontation in the store went, yeah, duh", Amethyst grinned.  
Peridot bit her lip and stared at her shoes. There was a hole in one of them.  
"Sorry, I get it, no jokes about You-Know-Who."  
Peridot sniffled.  
"You don't have to tell me, Peri, it's okay. Let's just get Uggo here home, I bet she's had enough of me already", Amethyst said, poking the little turtle's plastic bag.  
"I wanted a boy turtle", Peridot told her shoes.  
"That's what my mom said, too, after my four older sisters, but hey, look what she got, and she isn't complaining. Sometimes."

**Author's Note:**

> As always, English isn't my first language so please, if there is anything off, tell me! Happy Easter to all of you!


End file.
